Monday 19 August 2019

You say 'tomato', I say 'tomato'- the process of adapting and translating a UK picture book text for the US market.

I recently tweeted that mine and Paula Metcalf's picture book 'Have You Seen My Blankie?' (published by Nosy Crow) is coming out in the US and Canada. I commented how interesting I'd found the process of working with US editors to adapt the text for their market.  A few people replied to my tweet that they'd be interested in hearing a bit about that process.... and so... a new blog post is born!

I am lucky enough to have had my stories translated into over 20 different languages now, which feels very special and a real honour! The photo below shows a small selection of those books.
I've found, for the most part, that I've not been particularly involved in (or asked about) the translation process. (Not that I would have very much to add when it came to Lithuanian or Finnish versions of my stories!)

But when it comes to the American English editions, I always find it interesting.
Sometimes I get asked to change only a line or two.
Sometimes the US English edition is exactly the same as the British English version.
Sometimes, when the book is sent to me, I notice a few small changes have been made, which I wasn't necessarily informed of, and which I always find interesting to spot!

In the British English version of Sammy Claws the Christmas cat, Santa is left treats of mince pies.
'That night, Santa worked just as hard as could be, but still found some time for a mince pie...or three!)

 However, when I read the American English version, both the text and the illustration had been changed to 'cookies'.
'That night Santa worked just as hard as could be but still found some time for a cookie or three.'

I guess Santa doesn't eat mince pies in America or Canada. I never knew!!

However, sometimes, the translation process between British and American English versions requires a bit more back and forth, with the US editors either suggesting changes themselves for the author to OK, or asking for the author to come up with some new text where the British English lines just aren't quite going to work.  This is the way it was with 'Have you Seen My Blankie?'

Below, I've lain out the text verse by verse with both the British and American English versions so that you can see the kind of changes that we made to this story.  Happy reading!

UK text  Have You Seen My Blankie?
US text  Have You Seen My Blankie?  

Once, inside a palace, lived a young princess called Alice,
and Alice had a blankie that she always took to bed.
This blankie was so cuddly! So soft and warm and snuggly!
But one day it went missing! 'Where's my blankie?' Alice said.

Once, inside a palace, lived a young princess named Alice,
and Alice had a blankie that she always took to bed.
This blankie was so cuddly! So soft and warm and snuggly!
But one day it went missing! 'Where's my blankie?' Alice said.

Alice ran across the floor and hurried to the palace door.
She called to Jack, her brother, who was playing in his den.
He said 'Oh, yes, I'm certain that I used it as a curtain,
but that was quite some time ago- a giant took it then.'

Alice ran across the floor and hurried to the palace door.
She called out to her brother, 'Do you have my blankie, Jack?'  
He said 'No but I'm certain that I used it as a curtain,
But then a giant took it and he wouldn't give it back.' 

Alice tracked the giant down. She rang his doorbell with a frown.
Giant Jim said 'Come on in! I've made some lovely pies.'
He said 'I had your blankie and I used it as a hankie,
but then a witch discovered it and flew off through the skies!'

Alice tracked the giant down. She rang his doorbell with a frown.
Giant Jim said 'Come on in! I've made some lovely pies.'
'Yes, I had your blankie and I used it as a hankie,
but then a witch discovered it and flew off through the skies!'

Alice started out once more. She knocked upon the witch's door.
The witch said 'Oh, your blankie? Yes, it made a lovely cloak.
But if I'm not mistaken, dear, my lovely cloak was taken!'
She pointed to the trees, where Princess Alice spied some smoke.

Alice headed out once more and knocked upon the witch's door.
The witch said 'Oh, your blankie? Yes, it made a lovely cloak.
But if I'm not mistaken, it seems that it was taken!'
She pointed to the trees, where Princess Alice spied some smoke.

Alice went exploring and she heard some noisy snoring!
She walked into the forest and was trying to be brave.
But then she saw her blankie and a dragon looking cranky.
'Who disturbs my slumbers?' roared the dragon from his cave.

So Alice went exploring. Soon she heard some noisy snoring!
She walked into the forest and was trying to be brave.
But then she saw her blankie with a dragon who looked cranky 
'Who disturbs my slumbers?' roared the dragon from his cave.

Alice felt a little scared. 'That's my blankie!' she declared.
But suddenly she realised that this dragon wasn't tough!
The dragon sadly bowed his head. 'It's just so very soft' he said.
'Your blankie helps me sleep because my bed is cold and rough.'

Alice felt a little scared. 'That's my blankie!' she declared.
And suddenly she realized that this dragon wasn't tough!
The dragon sadly bowed his head. 'It's just so very soft' he said. 
'Your blankie helps me sleep because my bed is cold and rough.' 

Princess Alice looked quite cross. 'It's time to show him just who's boss!'
But when she reached for Blankie...Oh! The dragon looked so blue.
And Alice thought about it. 'Well, he'll never sleep without it.
I wonder' said the princess 'If there's something I can do?'

Princess Alice felt quite mad. What a tiring day she'd had! 
She tried to take her blankie...but the dragon looked so blue. 
And Alice thought about it. 'Well, he'll never sleep without it.
I wonder' said the princess 'If there's something I can do?' 

Just then she had a good idea. 'Yes, of course! The answer's clear!
We'll find you something snuggly, soft and warm' the princess said.
The dragon whispered 'Oh, yes please!' He gave the blankie one last squeeze
then handed it to Alice as he wriggled from his bed.

Just then she had a good idea. 'Yes, of course! The answer's clear!
We'll find you something snuggly, soft and warm' the princess said.
The dragon whispered 'Oh, yes please!' He gave the blankie one last squeeze 
then handed it to Alice as he got up from his bed. 

Alice and her new-found friend, left the woods and... round the bend..
they came upon the witch's house. They hoped that she could help.
The witch said 'Try my snuggly cat? She's sleeping here inside my hat.'
'But cats are far too scratchy!' said the dragon with a yelp.

Alice and her new-found friend, left the woods and... round the bend..
they came upon the witch's house. They hoped that she could help.
The witch said 'Try my snuggly cat? She's sleeping here inside my hat.'
'But cats are far too scratchy!' said the dragon with a yelp. 

The dragon was now trying to stop himself from crying.
So Alice spoke to Giant Jim who gave it quite some thought.
My feather cushion's soft' he said. 'Perhaps you could try that instead?'
'But feather make me sneezy! said the dragon with a snort.

The dragon was now trying to stop himself from crying.
So Alice spoke to Giant Jim who offered them some pie.
My feather pillow's soft' he said. 'Perhaps you could try that instead?'
'But feather make me sneezy! said the dragon with a sigh.

The dragon's tears were flowing so the princess kept on going.
They flew to find her brother. 'Do you have any ideas?'
'Socks are warm!' young Jack replied. 'I've got an extra pair inside?'
'But socks are far too stinky!' said the dragon through his tears.

The dragon's tears were flowing so the princess kept on going.
They flew to ask her brother Jack if he could help them out. 
'Socks are warm!' Prince Jack replied. 'I've got an extra pair inside?'
'But socks are far too stinky!' said the dragon with a shout.

Princess Alice felt so bad. The dragon looked so very sad.
He sobbed 'I need a blankie or I'll never sleep tonight!'
Alice stroked the dragon's head and then she very gently said
'Don't give up! I promise we'll find something that's just right!'

Princess Alice felt so bad. The dragon looked so very sad.
He sobbed 'I need a blankie or I'll never sleep tonight!'
Alice stroked the dragon's head and then she very gently said 
'Don't give up! I promise we'll find something that's just right!'

The dragon followed Alice and they went inside the palace.
'We need something that's soft' she told him 'warm and snuggly too'
They tried the kitchen and the porch. They checked the attic (with a torch)
Then, in her bedroom, Alice cried 'I've just the thing for you!'

The dragon followed Alice and they went inside the palace.
'We need something that's soft' she told him 'warm and snuggly too'
The attic had a lot of stuff but everything felt hard or rough.
Then, in her bedroom, Alice cried 'I've just the thing for you!' 

With lots of noisy puffing, some heaving and some huffing.
The princess showed the dragon...'Look!...my fluffy teddy bear!'
The dragon, beaming brightly, held on to Teddy tightly
and Alice felt so pleased that she'd found just the thing to share.'

With lots of noisy puffing, some heaving and some huffing.
The princess showed the dragon...'Look!...my fluffy teddy bear!' 
The dragon, beaming brightly, held on to Teddy tightly
and Alice felt so pleased that she'd found just the thing to share.' 

Inside a royal palace, lives a young princess called Alice
but now she has a dragon who will often come to stay.
So anyone who' scheming, beware the dragon dreaming.
He's guarding Ted and Blankie...so you'd better keep away!

Inside a royal palace, lives a young princess named Alice 
And now there is a dragon who will often come to stay.
So anyone who' scheming, beware the dragon dreaming.
He's guarding bear and blankie...so you'd better keep away!

Do you have any examples of other changes that you have noticed when comparing British English vs American English texts?

5 comments:

Helen Ishmurzin said...

Thanks for describing this process, Lucy! As a linguist and former translator I find it fascinating.
I noticed interesting differences when I bought a copy of Julia Donaldson's "Room on the Broom" for a friend's child and somehow bought the US version by mistake. I can't remember the exact wording, but "plait" had been changed to "braid" and "witch with chips" became "with with fries", in both cases necessitating further changes to make the rhyme work.

Lucy Rowland said...

Oh yes I remember that about 'Room on the Broom'..it's something like 'The witch has a hat and a cat that is black and she wears her long hair in a braid down her back'. Vs 'The witch has a cat and a very tall hat and long ginger hair that she wears in a plait.' I don't think they use the word 'ginger' in the US version. It's so interesting isn't it!

Lynne Garner said...

Great post - thanks for sharing.

I've never checked my picture books but I always check my non-fction. I think because there is more chances of changing the meaning in those.

Also this will be a great post to show my students. It proves that good verse can get published and can work if you have good editors.

Lucy Rowland said...

Thanks Lynne. Yes, I suppose it's even more important for non fiction. Hope your students find it helpful. I think one of my picture books is now in 14 languages so yes, rhyming books can definitely still be translated...as long as the story is strong enough and it's not just a nice poem! (Which is what I used to write when I first started writing)

Alex English said...

This is fascinating, Lucy. Thank you for sharing so generously. I haven't had any of mine translated to American English yet, but now I'm well prepared!