This post has been a long time in the making. Over ten years
in fact! When I first embarked on my picture book journey, my first stories
were in rhyme. I eagerly submitted to my more experienced critique group, only
to realise that my rhyme wasn’t up to industry standard. For a while after that, I stuck to writing only in prose.
I’m pleased to say that in January 2024, 11 years later, my first rhyming picture book will be
publishing with Nosy Crow! So, in this post I reflect and share what I have learned about
writing rhyming picture books.
1. 1. SCANSION IS MORE THAN JUST SYLLABLES
At the start of my writing journey, I thought meter meant counting syllables. I carefully
counted the syllables in my texts and if they had twelve syllables in each
line, for example, I thought I was doing it right! Here is the first spread of one of my
first ever picture book texts:
Thursday, February 7, 2013
GRANDMA’S GREAT BEANS By Clare Welsh
I enjoy soft bananas and raisins and sweets.
I like crunchy carrots and potatoes and beets.
I’m partial to chicken but prefer veggie mince.
I love sausage trifle with a portion of quince!
I was so confused when my lovely critique partners' feedback said that
the meter wasn’t working. What was meter? It turns out I didn’t know about scansion! It is possible
to write couplets with the same number of syllables without a clear
rhythm - without a consistent pattern of stresses and unstresses. Generally, this is what
is advised for flawless rhyme that is easy to follow and enjoyable to read aloud. If I was re-writing my story today, I might have done something
like this. These rewritten lines now have a /stress/ unstress/ unstress/ stress/ pattern:
I like soft bananas and raisins and sweets,
crunchy raw carrots with bacon and beets.
I’m partial to chicken and love veggie mince.
But best I love trifle with spoonfuls of quince!
2. 2. THE RULES DON’T
APPLY TO EVERYONE
I recently met Julia Donaldson at Waterstones Piccadilly and was
able to tell her what an inspiration her books have been, both to me as a writer
and a teacher. Rhyming texts can be fantastic to read aloud and have an
important role in early literacy. But many of Julia Donaldson’s texts don’t have
a consistent rhythm throughout and read more like songs. I've learned that Julia can get away with
things I can’t! Whilst there are other very successful creatives who have an in
instinctive way of finding rhythm, for me at least, I know I’ll have to treat scansion
as more of a science.
3. 3. DON’T LET
THE RHYME HOLD YOUR STORY HOSTAGE
Thursday, February 7, 2013 GRANDMA’S GREAT BEANS By Clare Welsh ‘Bad dog!’
I shouted and I sent him outside.
I thought of the beans and, heartbroken, I cried.
I wept and I snivelled until I could cry no more.
Then all of a sudden, my eye caught the floor...
Coming back to my eleven year old text, you can see there are places where I have re-arranged the natural word-order to make the line rhyme. This can jolt the reader and make for a less pleasant reading experience - you want to avoid it in picture books where possible. Don’t let your
rhyme hold your story hostage.
Another example of rhyme leading a story, is choosing
words just because they rhyme. For example, including a turf in your under the
sea based picture book because it rhymes with surf, even though it doesn't feel like the best word to use in that context. Picture books are focused –
every word, every beat, every line should be carefully chosen. Don’t let rhyme lead
your story in random directions. It stands out to the reader as a red herring,
if not in the line, then by the end of story when turf doesn’t feature again. Don’t settle for lines that are there
for convenient rhymes and that you wouldn’t have written if your story was told in prose.
4. 4. THE RHYME NEEDS TO WORK FOR EVERYONE
I’m a big advocate of sharing texts with trusted critique partners. They’ll be able to spot where you’ve re-arranged the natural word order and where
details have been added just because you needed a rhyme. They’ll also be able to point
out which near rhymes you can and can’t get away with (if any!) A near rhyme is a rhyme that almost rhymes but not quite, like machine and dream. They’ll
also advise which rhymes don’t scan or rhyme for them personally. Your rhyme needs to work
in different accents and in different continents. What rhymes for a southerner, might not rhyme
for someone with a northern accent. What rhymes in UK English, might not necessarily work in American. This is important – your rhyme needs to
work for all the readers who may pick up your book.
5. 5. A WEAK CONCEPT IN PROSE WON’T BE A STRONG CONCEPT IN RHYME
Because of the sing-song nature of rhyme, we sometimes feel that rhyme
can carry a text. And of course, it does! But rhyming stories still need to be great stories, with strong
characters, a clear throughline and multiple hooks, just like a text in prose.
Take a look at the How To Grow series by Rachel Morrisroe and Steven
Lenton, or the Gertie series by Lu Fraser and Kate Hindley.
These are fantastic story concepts, whether in rhyme or prose. (Both
of these authors write in exceptional rhyme by the way, if you are looking for examples
of the industry standard.) This point
about strong concepts is important for co-editions. A publisher will want
to try and sell your text to foreign territories. A rhyming text would have to
be translated or re-written in prose, so it needs to be worth that effort.
6. 6. YOU CAN
LEARN HOW TO WRITE IN RHYME
I mentioned at the top of this article that my first
stories were in rhyme. When I realised I didn’t understand scansion, I stopped writing
in rhyme for several years. I tried again during the pandemic when a rhyming
couplet appeared in my head. Quite instinctively, these became the opening lines of the text publishing
in a few months’ time. I’ve still had to work hard to make sure my meter is
consistent. I’ve shared the texts with critique partners and editors who have helped
to iron out the pitfalls of writing in rhyme mentioned above, but…
I am really pleased that my next picture book will be my rhyming
debut! And I hope that this shows you that writing in rhyme – just like writing
generally – is a skill you can learn and practise and get better at.
CLARE HELEN WELSH
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