SIX THINGS I'VE LEARNED ABOUT RHYMING PICTURE BOOKS by Clare Helen Welsh

This post has been a long time in the making. Over ten years in fact! When I first embarked on my picture book journey, my first stories were in rhyme. I eagerly submitted to my more experienced critique group, only to realise that my rhyme wasn’t up to industry standard. For a while after that, I stuck to writing only in prose.

I’m pleased to say that in January 2024, 11 years later, my first rhyming picture book will be publishing with Nosy Crow! So, in this post I reflect and share what I have learned about writing rhyming picture books.

 

1.      1. SCANSION IS MORE THAN JUST SYLLABLES

At the start of my writing journey, I thought meter meant counting syllables. I carefully counted the syllables in my texts and if they had twelve syllables in each line, for example, I thought I was doing it right! Here is the first spread of one of my first ever picture book texts:

 

Thursday, February 7, 2013 GRANDMA’S GREAT BEANS By Clare Welsh

I enjoy soft bananas and raisins and sweets.

I like crunchy carrots and potatoes and beets.

I’m partial to chicken but prefer veggie mince.

I love sausage trifle with a portion of quince!

 

I was so confused when my lovely critique partners' feedback said that the meter wasn’t working. What was meter? It turns out I didn’t know about scansion! It is possible to write couplets with the same number of syllables without a clear rhythm - without a consistent pattern of stresses and unstresses. Generally, this is what is advised for flawless rhyme that is easy to follow and enjoyable to read aloud. If I was re-writing my story today, I might have done something like this. These rewritten lines now have a /stress/ unstress/ unstress/ stress/ pattern:

I like soft bananas and raisins and sweets,

crunchy raw carrots with bacon and beets.

I’m partial to chicken and love veggie mince.

But best I love trifle with spoonfuls of quince!

 

2.      2. THE RULES DON’T APPLY TO EVERYONE

I recently met Julia Donaldson at Waterstones Piccadilly and was able to tell her what an inspiration her books have been, both to me as a writer and a teacher. Rhyming texts can be fantastic to read aloud and have an important role in early literacy. But many of Julia Donaldson’s texts don’t have a consistent rhythm throughout and read more like songs. I've learned that Julia can get away with things I can’t! Whilst there are other very successful creatives who have an in instinctive way of finding rhythm, for me at least, I know I’ll have to treat scansion as more of a science.

3.       3. DON’T LET THE RHYME HOLD YOUR STORY HOSTAGE

Thursday, February 7, 2013 GRANDMA’S GREAT BEANS By Clare Welsh

 ‘Bad dog!’ I shouted and I sent him outside.

I thought of the beans and, heartbroken, I cried.

I wept and I snivelled until I could cry no more.

Then all of a sudden, my eye caught the floor...

 

Coming back to my eleven year old text, you can see there are places where I have re-arranged the natural word-order to make the line rhyme. This can jolt the reader and make for a less pleasant reading experience - you want to avoid it in picture books where possible. Don’t let your rhyme hold your story hostage.

Another example of rhyme leading a story, is choosing words just because they rhyme. For example, including a turf in your under the sea based picture book because it rhymes with surf, even though it doesn't feel like the best word to use in that context. Picture books are focused – every word, every beat, every line should be carefully chosen. Don’t let rhyme lead your story in random directions. It stands out to the reader as a red herring, if not in the line, then by the end of story when turf doesn’t feature again. Don’t settle for lines that are there for convenient rhymes and that you wouldn’t have written if your story was told in prose.  

 

4.      4. THE RHYME NEEDS TO WORK FOR EVERYONE

I’m a big advocate of sharing texts with trusted critique partners. They’ll be able to spot where you’ve re-arranged the natural word order and where details have been added just because you needed a rhyme. They’ll also be able to point out which near rhymes you can and can’t get away with (if any!) A near rhyme is a rhyme that almost rhymes but not quite, like machine and dream. They’ll also advise which rhymes don’t scan or rhyme for them personally. Your rhyme needs to work in different accents and in different continents. What rhymes for a southerner, might not rhyme for someone with a northern accent. What rhymes in UK English, might not necessarily work in American. This is important – your rhyme needs to work for all the readers who may pick up your book.

 

5.      5. A WEAK CONCEPT IN PROSE WON’T BE A STRONG CONCEPT IN RHYME

Because of the sing-song nature of rhyme, we sometimes feel that rhyme can carry a text. And of course, it does! But rhyming stories still need to be great stories, with strong characters, a clear throughline and multiple hooks, just like a text in prose. Take a look at the How To Grow series by Rachel Morrisroe and Steven Lenton, or the Gertie series by Lu Fraser and Kate Hindley.

These are fantastic story concepts, whether in rhyme or prose. (Both of these authors write in exceptional rhyme by the way, if you are looking for examples of the industry standard.)  This point about strong concepts is important for co-editions. A publisher will want to try and sell your text to foreign territories. A rhyming text would have to be translated or re-written in prose, so it needs to be worth that effort.

 

6.      6. YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO WRITE IN RHYME

I mentioned at the top of this article that my first stories were in rhyme. When I realised I didn’t understand scansion, I stopped writing in rhyme for several years. I tried again during the pandemic when a rhyming couplet appeared in my head. Quite instinctively, these became the opening lines of the text publishing in a few months’ time. I’ve still had to work hard to make sure my meter is consistent. I’ve shared the texts with critique partners and editors who have helped to iron out the pitfalls of writing in rhyme mentioned above, but…

I am really pleased that my next picture book will be my rhyming debut! And I hope that this shows you that writing in rhyme – just like writing generally – is a skill you can learn and practise and get better at.

 

CLARE HELEN WELSH

Clare Helen Welsh is a children's writer from Devon. She writes fiction and non-fiction picture book texts - sometimes funny, sometimes lyrical and everything in between! Her latest picture book is called 'Never, Ever, Ever Ask A Pirate To A Party,' illustrated by Anne-Kathrin Behl and published by Nosy Crow. Her debut rhyming picture book will publish in January 2024. You can find out more about her at her website www.clarehelenwelsh.com or on Twitter @ClareHelenWelsh . Clare is represented by Alice Williams at Alice Williams Literary.

Tips for titles: What's in a name? by Lucy Rowland

This year, I was asked to produce 4 short pieces about writing picture books for the SCBWI-BI ‘Words and Pictures’ online magazine.  I chose to write about writing in rhyme, editing rhyme, picture book endings and also picture book titles.

I decided to share and expand some of my thoughts on picture book titles in this post.  This is partly because, at the moment, I’m really struggling to come up with the right title for a particular story!... but also because titles are so important.

Strong titles can hook us in and make us want to pick up a book. So how do you know when you’ve found the right one?  Here are some points I consider when looking for the perfect picture book title.  It’s certainly not easy though and I’d love to hear your pointers too!

Be short and snappy! Tara Lazar, Children’s Book Author, writes that ‘Picture books tend to sell on concept. That concept must be communicated succinctly in order to capture a young child’s (and a parent’s) imagination.  If your picture book manuscript has an overly long title, it may suggest your concept is either too vague or too complicated for the format. You want to nail down your concept and make it snappy!’

Lots of picture book titles are quite short and to the point. Just having a look through my bookcase today, I notice that many of them are just 2-3 words long. For example:

'Blown away' by Rob Biddulph

'Oi Frog!' by Kes Gray and Jim Field

'Daddy's Sandwich' by Pip Jones and Laura Hughes

'Grandad's Island' by Benji Davies

'Mr Wolf’s pancakes' by Jan Fearnley

'Lost and Found' by Oliver Jeffers

'Dinosaurs don’t draw!' by Elli Woollard and Steven Lenton.

Though, of course, as Tara Lazar mentions, sometimes long picture book titles stand out and can work really well, particularly if they're used to stress a key idea such as in

'Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day' by Judith Viorst and Roy Cruz. 

Be intriguing! I love a title that makes me want to know more.  ‘There is No Dragon in this Story’ (by Lou Carter and Deborah Allwright) is a title that does just that.  The cover clearly shows a dragon and yet we’re told there are no dragons in this story! So what exactly is going on here?!  

And what about the unusual titles, ‘Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs’? by Judi and Ron Barrett or 'Don't let the pigeon drive the bus?' by Mo Willems.  Those are titles that definitely make me want to read on.

Be aware of co-edition sales This is where I tend to fall down! I often come up with stories because I like experimenting with words.  Many of my picture book titles are rhyming- e.g. ‘Gecko’s Echo’(illustrated by Natasha Rimmington) and others are plays on words like ‘Little Red Reading Hood’ (illustrated by Ben Mantle).  But how do these titles work for co-editions where the words may not rhyme in the new language? It can be done (Little Red Reading Hood is now published in French as ‘Little Red Riding Hood who loves to read’) but it’s certainly something to consider.

I personally really enjoy rhyming titles. In fact, ‘Where Bear’ by Sophy Henn, ‘Lucie Goose’ by Danny Baker and Pippa Cunick and ‘Follow the Track all the Way Back’ by Timothy Knapman and Ben Mantle are just a few of the rhyming titles that I currently have on my shelf.

Be open to changing your title.

My original text ‘Ned said No’ is now called ‘The Knight who said No’ (illustrated by Kate Hindley).  ‘Stoppit Floppit’ is now titled ‘Catch that Egg’ (illustrated by Anna Chernyshova).  These changes were made after discussions with my publishers who consider things such as search engine optimisation.  Parents often buy books for a particular time of year- Christmas, Mother’s Day, Halloween etc or because their children are going through a particularly intense ‘dinosaur phase’.  If a parent is searching for a picture book about ‘knights’, ‘dinosaurs’ or ‘Easter’- you want them to be able to find yours.

Also worth considering is whether or not to use character’s names.

Sometimes the character’s names don’t give us a lot to go on. They don’t give us a really clear idea of what that book is about.  I’ve recently changed a title where I was using a character’s name ‘Wanda’ to one where I use ‘The Little Witch’.  Again, it can be useful to think about the words that someone might search for if they are looking for a book about a particular topic.  Parents often look for picture books in order to support children with fears/phobias or to help them to learn about and navigate new experiences.  

Is your book about worry/fear of the dark/first day of school/ a trip to the dentist? If so, is this communicated really clearly by your title?

Having said that, looking again at my lovely picture book shelf, using character names certainly didn’t harm Sophy Henn with her gorgeous book ‘Edie’ or Claire Freedman and Kate Hindley with their book ‘Oliver and Patch’! 

Oooh this is so tricky!!  

I’d love to hear some of your top tips for titles.  Do you have any particular picture book titles that stand out to you?