Help A Hamster – using a picture book to help children understand adoption, by Hilary Robinson (Guest Blog)

It was Sonia Benster at the Children’s Bookshop near Huddersfield, who suggested that my next Copper Tree series book might consider adoption as she was regularly asked for picturebooks on the subject.


So, in preparation, we set about speaking to adoption professionals and to families.

We found that while attitudes towards adoption had changed, three poignant elements remained constant.

Firstly, the agony of parting birth mothers from their children.

The words of actor Linda Bellingham seared into me when she described how, as a baby, she was handed over to her adopted parents. As their car pulled away her new parents could see in the rear view mirror, Linda’s birth mother, arms outstretched, running after them. In a split second they had to make a decision. To stop or to drive on. They accelerated away.

Almost seventy years later *Callum’s alcohol dependent mother endured the same agony.

After immediately handing over her baby to social services in the hospital, and after regular visits to see, nurse and play with her baby at a contact centre, she was too distressed to say the final goodbye.

But unlike Linda who relied on anecdotes about her circumstances, Callum, like other adopted children today, could refer to his Life Story Book where the main details of his circumstances were recorded.

Life Story Books, it’s believed, help children, separated from their birth family, make better sense of their situation and this became a crucial element in Help A Hamster.

The Copper Tree books feature the same group of children and it seemed right that in this instance, Alfie Tate, the class character, should be the pupil that explains his adoption story.

Alfie had been appointed ‘Hamster Monitor’ when the class discovered that, Henry, the class hamster, had given birth to four babies and was clearly finding it hard to cope. This gave Alfie an opportunity to show his Life Story Book and the children discover that his birth mum “really loved him but she found it difficult being a mummy.”

We paid careful attention to the language and to the circumstances. Alfie, his parents and the teachers took the form of the social services in determining which hamster would suit which home and when one, named Alfonzo, is left, Alfie negotiates with his parents who decide that they will give Alfonzo a home.

The third constant that emerged was the tremendous integrity of families who are prepared to open their hearts and homes to strangers’ children.

One couple went from having no children to three – all from one family – while Callum’s family know that his development will forever be hindered by the after effects of foetal alcohol syndrome. His learning capabilities are impaired.

As with so many picture books, Help A Hamster, can be read on more than one level. Above all, I hope it serves as a reminder and a celebration of the human condition. Words and pictures combine to show us that while attitudes and circumstances may change and continue to evolve, kindness, respect and love towards others will always remain the most significant constant in an ever changing world. And this has to be good for children.

*name has been changed to protect identity
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Help A Hamster by Hilary Robinson,
illustrated by Mandy Stanley
Strauss House Productions
ISBN 978-0957124523
www.thecoppertree.org

Our Guest Blogger, Hilary Robinson,

has written over forty illustrated

children's books.You can find out more
at http://www.hilaryrobinson.co.uk/

How To Talk To Children About Death by Hilary Robinson (Guest Blog)

Caroline’s last hours in the hospice were peaceful for her but they were painful for us.   When the phone call finally came that she had died, despite the inevitability, the emotion was overwhelming.  

Caroline had battled breast cancer for seven years before dying at the age of 39.  In the days that followed I thought a lot about her parents, and husband, but I thought also about the children in our families as well as the children at the school where she’d been a much-loved teacher.   To help my young daughters through their grief I encouraged them to think about the legacies their Aunt had left in terms of what she had shared, taught and imparted and in what was probably an effort to exorcise the grief, I then wrote a story about a teacher who dies. 

The Copper Tree developed into a story of a small group of young school children who are encouraged to prepare for, and come to terms with, the subsequent death of their teacher, Miss Evans.  At the centre of it all I considered the simple needs of young children, many of whom would be exploring the feelings of grief and loss for the first time.   I realised that a relationship with a teacher mirrored so many relationships in other areas of our lives – from parents, family, wider family, friends and even pets. 

I wanted the story to be real and accessible and revised core elements of the text after seeking advice from bereaved families, from teachers and bereavement consultants.   One mother whose seventeen-year-old son had died from cancer told me that those with terminal illness, quite often – despite the pain and fear – remain cheerful.  They see and appreciate the pure beauty of life and find joy in simple pleasures.    Justine, a young mother of three children who was dying of breast cancer was critical of the lack of books that featured people as main characters, rather than animals, while teachers advised against using ambiguous language  - saying to a young child we have "lost" someone can lead them to believe that we may find them again and when a friend was told, as a young girl, that her grandmother had died of a stroke, she became then fearful of stroking the cat.   I also avoided whimsical notions of heave, leaving parents, teachers and carers free to consider those elements in their own respective and personal ways.

Dr Paul Fitzpatrick, an expert in bereavement counselling from Cardiff University, explained that ‘continuing bonds theory’ is now considered by many to be an integral part of helping those who grieve.  Recognising and celebrating the legacies of those who have died is considered far more effective than ignoring, as previous generations have done, the fact that someone had ever existed and this was borne out when our local hospice, St Gemmas, established a Tree Of Life on to which bereaved relatives could hang copper leaves inscribed with the name of a loved one who had died.

So with all this is mind The Copper Tree took shape and in the story the children are gently taken through the difficult process.  There are light hearted moments and moments of poignancy – just as in life - and following a period of reflection after the death of Miss Evans, they are encouraged to think about all that their teacher has shared with them - or taught them.   These memories are then inscribed on to copper leaves and fixed on to a copper tree as a reminder of her lasting legacy.

We cherish our memories of Caroline and we are proud of the legacies she has left.  The Copper Tree, may not have happened had it not been for her and that, in itself, remains a lasting legacy to her.  We recognise also that, while at times the emotional pain has been difficult to bear, we have, as Caroline did in the end, found some measure of peace.

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The Copper Tree by Hilary Robinson, 
illustrated by Mandy Stanley

Published by Strauss House Productions   
ISBN: 978-0957124509
www.thecoppertree.org

Our Guest Blogger, Hilary Robinson,
has written over forty illustrated
children's books.
You can find out more at http://www.hilaryrobinson.co.uk/