YOU SAY 'POTATO', I SAY 'SPUD'

by Michelle Robinson

Happy July 4th, America. Independence is a sore point here in Britain right now. Amid all the gloom, I suppose there's still a place for the flippant, the fun and the frivolous. I hope this post brings a smile to your face, if only a teeny tiny one.

Some words just don't cross over the pond. For writers it's a pain in the bum (or the butt, depending on which side of the Atlantic you're sitting). Wherever you're writing, you may wish to go right ahead and avoid some of these nuisance words:-

Sneaker - What is this, America? Sounds like a stealthy fart to me. If we’re talking running shoes, it’s a trainer or even a dap.

Butt - My daughter has started using this word because she watches imported cartoons. It doesn't work in a British accent. We have bums and bottoms.

Cookie - Here in the UK this can only refer to a pale biscuit with chocolate chips in it. Any other ‘cookie’ is just a different kind of biscuit. What you call a biscuit, America, is in fact a scone - and a scone is absolutely not a biscuit. I'm glad we got that one clear.

Color - We spell it colour. Just because you’re bigger than us doesn’t mean you can take away our Us. Ditto favorite/favourite. Stop being so annouying.

Herbs - Please pronounce the 'h'. As in heathens.

Truck - It’s a lorry. That ‘street car’ of yours is a tram. The big red one is a fire engine.

Elevator - It’s a lift. It’s easier for kids to say and they don’t get it confused with escalators (‘moving stairways’ to you).

A-LU-min-um - It’s a-lu-MINI-um, actually. We’ll forgive you on this one because even the guy who named it couldn't make up his mind. 

Drugstore - Sounds practically illegal to us Brits. We call it the chemist’s or the pharmacy.

Freeway - Steady on, this sounds dangerously close to freewheeling. It’s the motorway, where one drives one’s motor, mater.

Rotary - You don’t have many of these bad boys over there. Over here, it’s a roundabout. Don’t ever visit Swindon.

Pants - What is wrong with you people? They’re TROUSERS. Only Superman wears pants on the outside. Also, if something is 'pants', it's bad. 

Underwear - PANTS. Or if you're a girl, you might call your pants knickers. Wallace and Gromit call them undercrackers and they should know. Underpants sounds a bit snooty.

Sweater - Why would you use this word when you could treat your mouth to ‘jumper’? Say it with me, America. ‘Jumper.’ Now go and Google Sultans of Ping.

Galoshes - You can’t wang a galosh. They’re WELLIES.

Robe - It’s a dressing gown. Only Her Majesty wears a robe.

Diaper - Nothing useful rhymes with this. For picture book purposes can we all just agree that nappy is so much easier to work with?

Bathing suit - What century is this? Come on, prissy pants, it’s a cozzie.

Gum - This is glue. Please don’t go confusing us over this, especially our kids. No one wants to chew on a pritt stick.

Math - Did you forget to + the 's’?

Vacation - This is a holiday, actually. Our holidays are for life, not just for Christmas.

Goof off - This sounds like a euphemism. Please can we muck about instead? 

Recess - Sounds vaguely dental. Play time or break.

Parking lot - It’s a car park. (Where cars go to play, presumably.)

Cross walk - We call this a zebra crossing because we’re just so adorable. At least we used to be. *Brexit sigh*

Crossing guard - We have lollipop men and lollipop ladies. We like them, very much.

Gas - We use this to heat our homes and for cooking. We put petrol or fuel in our cars.

Sidewalk - Pavement is the word you’re looking for.

Dumpster - We call this a skip. I have no idea why. I concede: your word is better.

Apartment - Posh word for a flat.

Diner - We say ‘cafe’ to help us sound more European. I guess we'll be ditching 'cafe' soon.

French toast - It’s eggy bread, thank goodness, or we may not be allowed to make it post-Brexit.

French fries - These are CHIPS. Maybe we'll agree that the skinny ones are fries.

Potato chips - Crisps, because they’re crisp and it has fewer syllables.

Jelly - Last time I checked this was actually called jam.

Jello - Hello? This is jelly.

Mom - MUM. Apart from in the Midlands.

Restroom - Stop being coy. It’s the loo, the lavvy, the toilet or the bog. 

Faucet - Again, not great for pre-school rhyming. Let’s stick with tap.

Closet - We say wardrobe. Give it a try.

Trash can - Bin. Surely ours is a better word?

Mail - Post. As in, er… Royal Mail. I’ll have a word with them about that.

Soccer - Don’t even get us started on this one. Not now. It’s football. Your version of football is just plain silly.

Flashlight - Torch.

Band-aid - A charity supergroup headed up by Sting. We call those sticky bandage things plasters.

Fall - Autumn is so much more ...autumnal.

Eggplant - Aubergine.

Zucchini - Courgette.

Cilantro - Coriander. I’m glad I don’t write cook books.

Stand in line - This is queuing. We are the international champions.

Lady bug - Ladybird. Julia Donaldson wrote a whole book based on rhyming it with ‘heard’ and I bet no one asked her to rewrite that.

Any others I ought to have included? Do please add them in the comments below. If you're outside Britain, please also feel free to tell us you still love at least 48.1% of us and that somehow it's all going to be okay. 

Meanwhile, my book ‘The Forgetful Knight’ publishes in the US on July 7th, illustrated by Fred Blunt who lives in Swindon and negotiates roundabouts on a daily basis. In America, they’re hailing our book as ‘Monty Python for kids’. That crazy British humoUr, eh?

Find out more about Michelle Robinson and her books, including advice on writing picture books here.

Picture book differences between the main bookshop chains in the US and UK - Paeony Lewis

Last month I was in the USA and naturally I looked at picture books in shops. How could I not?! This included Barnes & Noble bookstores in three states. As a major chain I assumed Barnes & Noble in the US would be very similar to Waterstones in the UK. Yes and no. I began to notice there were some differences between the US and UK picture-book sections and I thought I'd share my unscientific observations. Of course I haven't forgotten there are lots of brilliant independent bookstores in both countries but they don't have to follow standardised directives from Head Office and so they're more individual and can't be compared in the same way.

Barnes & Noble in the US
The main picture book section was made up of hardbacks.
Selected books are front facing and the rest are spine outwards.

Waterstones in the UK
Most picture books are paperbacks and they're displayed sideways
because the spine of a paperback is insignificant.

To me the biggest difference was the dominance of hardback picture books (with jackets) in Barnes & Noble.  I’d love a knowledgeable person to explain to me why there's such an emphasis on hardbacks in the US. I’m truly baffled and appreciate there must be a reason. Perhaps it's because hardbacks have shelf presence and you can easily read the spine. They’re substantial and feel gorgeous, especially with decorative endpapers. Unfortunately though, US picture book hardbacks are typically $17.99 (c£12) which is expensive for an everyday item. So are they mainly purchased as gifts? Does this mean Americans buy fewer picture books or do they simply spend more? A British paperback picture book is typically £6.99 (c$10), and special offers often lower this further. So per family, do we buy more picture books in the UK? I've no idea, although I'm told the US doesn't have the equivalent of  Book Start.

Waterstones UK
Paperback discounts: '3 for 2'
 and 'Buy 1 get 1 half price'
are always popular.

  

Barnes & Noble US
A rare price reduction.
Both US and UK  have 
loyalty schemes.

With the majority of picture books in Barnes & Noble being pricey hardbacks, I wonder if this discourages the adult from allowing the child to pick a book that might not appeal to the parent? Also, I noticed many of the hardbacks seemed aimed at older children and perhaps this is a sign that in the US picture books aren’t cast aside (by adults – never children) when the child reaches five years. I wish the reading of picture books by older children was encouraged more in the UK. I don't think many British parents realise how sophisticated picture books can be and how they promote discussion.



Despite the plethora of love books, funny books and moral themes in Barnes & Noble, I noticed a ‘grumpiness’ theme too. That surprised me. I remember submitting a ‘grumpy’ book in the UK a few years ago and received feedback that the grumpy adult hippo was too irresponsible in terms of caring for the little hippo. Perhaps I was unknowingly following a grumpy, humorous American zeitgeist! In fact, more than in the UK, I thought quite a few US books seemed to push way beyond the boundaries of cute and cuddly, with exaggerated humour that often poked fun at poor parenting (more so than in the UK). Plus the style of many illustrations wasn't quite the same as in the UK (often more cartoony in an adult way - though it's hard to put my finger on it).

B&N US
More picture book shelves from another B&N.
Lots of hardback picture books squeezed onto the shelves and the hardback spines allow for identification.
With only a spine I assume the title must be even more important. To me the lack of front-facing books
doesn't seem to encourage browsing, but they can squeeze more books on the shelves.

B&N US
It's much easier to make a choice when the covers can be seen.
Visibility is a perennial problem for picture books.

B&N US

Rhyming picture books used to be much more popular with publishers in the US than UK. I suspect that was because the US internal market is huge and they didn’t worry about overseas co-editions and translations as much as UK publishers. So in the US there has always been a high number of rhyming picture books and Dr Seuss continues to remain far more prominent than in the UK. Meanwhile in the UK, rhyme is still growing on the back of the phenomenal success of Julia Donaldson. Nowadays every Waterstones in the UK appears to have a large section devoted to Julia Donaldson's rhyming picture books, but I didn’t see this in Barnes & Noble in the US and only noticed one of her books: The Gruffalo. Instead, the author with the most shelf space in the US Barnes & Nobles appeared to be Mo Williems. We enjoy his Pigeon books in the UK (eg Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus), though his other humorous books haven’t taken off in the UK in the same way as in the US.

B&N US  The author with the most shelf space was Mo Williems.
More than two thirds of the books in this photo are by this author/illustrator.

Waterstones UK I suspect you can guess the author with the most shelf space in the UK!
Two thirds of this photo is linked to Julia Donaldson (books and merchandise).

Now it’s time for my greatest befuddlement. Why do almost all the American hardbacks in Barnes & Noble have flimsy, tearable, non-child-friendly jackets? Am I the only one who thinks this is madness?! I know some UK publishers add jackets to hardbacks too, but not to the same extent. And now I’ve thought about it, the lovely hardback versions of my No More Yawning and No More Biscuits didn’t have jackets in the UK, but they did in the US.

I wonder what happens to these jackets? Do American parents remove the jackets when they get them home? Or are the jacketed hardbacks kept on a special shelf in case they’re damaged? Are additional jackets still run off the printing press so booksellers have extras (which need to be stored). It’s beyond me – please will somebody explain!!

I’ll stop ranting and move on to something I liked: the Little Books for Little Hands section in Barnes & Noble that's aimed at 0-3 years. The title of the section says it all. They’re robust board books of classic, truncated and new stories and are strongly constructed for children to handle (chew, stomp, pull, share...). I thought this section was larger than the board book section you’ll find in a UK Waterstones. Perhaps it's to make up for the plethora of pricey US hardbacks?

B&N US: 'Little Books for Little Hands' 0-3 years

The B&N stores in three different states all included
 the same stage in the children's section.
A lovely idea for events to bring in customers, though perhaps US stores have more space than Waterstones in the UK? Plus I felt a labelled box of books for sharing (with B&N stickers to show they're not regular stock) would be nice to encourage use of the empty area outside of performances.

I wasn't so wild about all the toys sold in Barnes & Noble stores and they're far more appealing to young children's than rows of hardbacks with just the spines on show.

Also new to me at Barnes & Noble were the small, cheap paperback versions of picture books (smaller than typical paperback picture books in the UK). Proportionately there weren't many of these and they were displayed on one or two revolving stands with covers facing outwards.The selection isn’t large and seems to be aimed  more at young children reading for themselves. Series and classic bestseller books appear to predominate and my latest US version of I’ll Always Love You is the right size to fit into these stands (ie squarer and smaller than normal picture books). 

Whatever my comments, I enjoyed perusing the bookshops in the US and I apologise for not buying many picture books but my suitcase was already stuffed  (it didn't help that I was a nut case who brought a full-size pillow along on my travels!). Even so, I couldn’t leave empty handed and squeezed in four books. Only one of those four books may be found on the shelves of Waterstones in the UK (Goodnight Moon), though most can be ordered.

At an independent US bookstore I bought a paperback of the 1947 American classic, Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown, illus by Clement Hurd  (interestingly, the small independent store in North Carolina had a few more of the paperbacks we’re used to in the UK). Published by Harper Trophy

Whilst at the Library of Congress in Washington DC I spotted a paperback of the classic The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats. This book was new to me and in 1962 it was a ground-breaking US picture book in that it portrayed a realistic, multicultural urban setting. Published by Puffin Books

I couldn't resist this hardback from Barnes & Noble. Mother Bruce by Ryan T Higgins really made me giggle. It's about responsibility and so utterly grumpy and naughty! Published by Disney Hyperion in 2015

Another hardback from Barnes & Noble. When Spring Comes by Kevin Henkes, illus by Laura Dronzek. I bought this purely for the gorgeous bold illustrations. Published by Greenwillow in 2016

I’m somebody who’ll always buy books, whether they’re US hardbacks or cheaper UK paperbacks. Unfortunately this isn’t true of everybody which is why I’m not sure it helps if the newest and most diverse books can only be found in an expensive hardback format in Barnes & Noble bookstores in the US. Would Barnes & Noble make more money if they sold more paperbacks and displayed them cover outwards as is done in Waterstones? Or is the main profit in hardbacks? Regardless, I suspect we'll all agree it should be a priority to get more children reading more picture books, and for adults to enjoy spending time sharing the books.

By the way, if anybody would like to put me right on the differences I've noticed between the UK and US, it'll be lovely to read your comments. Thanks.

Paeony Lewis
www.paeonylewis.com